Neurotic Devotion
by moriartyswife
Summary: Deadman Wonderland became my home after I'd committed an unforgivable crime three years ago. Though being one of the first to arrive in G block, I couldn't care less about the hierarchy. I'd found my reason to live and if anyone threatened that, I will destroy them with the most gruesome methods. All I wanted was to live out the rest of my days in captivity with him. My Mockingbird
1. Chapter 1

The bed creaked as I flipped my body over to lay on my stomach. This mattress is too hard. The room is too warm. Each breath I took in burned my nose. Diluted bleach gives me a headache. I much preferred the metallic smell of blood. Kicking my legs, I groaned out loud. Sleep escaped me again tonight. Dragging myself out of bed, the cold floor underneath my bare feet sent a shiver up my body. Teetering back and forth, a yawn escaped my lips. Hugging myself, I said, "Just for a minute."

Exiting my room, the bright hallway lights burned my eyes. I blinked hard with each staggering step. My body felt stiff from laying down for so long without actually resting. Slowly, it caught up with my more awake mind. As my posture became straighter, I smiled to myself. "He'll be there." The thought made me want to laugh.

Rounding a corner, footsteps pounded down the corridor behind me. Oopsie. Guess I should have stayed in my room. They'll come looking for me. "Toto," I whispered, moving a little quicker. Which room was his again? All these hallways looked the same and directions were not my strong suit. I rubbed my bare arms, wishing I had changed out of my pajamas: black and white speckled Capri sweatpants that hung loosely off my waist and a solid gray crop top that was a little bit big on me.

"Hey Katsuko, isn't it almost time for your fight?" Minatsuki said with a pot of flowers in her hands. She's the hummingbird. The hummingbird is mean. We'd only fought once but she hurt me really bad. But she lost. "Are you actually going to take this fight seriously?" She laughed, her whole body shaking. With a crazed look in her eyes, Minatsuki leaned down close to me, our noses almost touching, and said, "When I fight you again, I'm going to love beating the shit out of you. Just thinking about it makes me so we-"

"Katsuko Mori. It's time for Carnival Corpse. Do not resist," One of the four armed guard ordered from behind me. He squeezed his hand tight on the gun in his hand. His breathing was so heavy that the whole wing could hear it. "Do not resist."

They're dangerous.

I'm _more_ dangerous.

Wonder if they would make good paint? Fresh paint.

Minatsuki patted me on the back. "Good luck out there. I hope you don't die but I'd be lying if I said I wanted you to win. A penalty round might kick your lazy ass in hear." She gave me a lopsided grin and smacked my ass.

Two guards each grabbed one of my arms. The path we took was one I hadn't taken in quite some time. Some of the other Deadman came out of their rooms to watch me be escorted. It had been a long time since I'd fought anyone. The guards unlocked the holding room. "You have five minutes." Two guards stood by the door, to make sure when the time came, I got in the cage.

I yawned loud, covering my mouth with one hand. I didn't find Toto in time. Oh well. Pouring a glass of water, another yawn took over. The liquid slid down my dry throat, giving a little relief to my current state. So sleepy. There's not a place to lie down, except on the floor. It appealed to me as my eyelids grew heavier. "Just a short nap," I mumbled, starting to sink to my knees.

A loud buzzer went off, making me cover my ears. It's _**so**_ loud. It's making my head pound even more. "Get in the cage," The guard said, weapon aimed at me. When I didn't move, he landed a hard kick to my torso, knocking me through the open door of the cage.

"Ouch," I muttered, rolling onto my back. The metal felt cold but I closed my eyes. The chain clinked, cracking the cage up into a very brightly lit arena. Voices laughed and made bets. I found it hard to sleep. Annoying.

The speaker cracked before the event announcer's voice broke through the room. "It's time for Carnival Corpse! Where two of your favorite Deadman will go head to head in a grueling match! Today's match is between the man known for always killing his opponents, The Raven, and his opponent," The speaker stopped to laugh. "The ever so aloof, Swan! Begin!"

The floor dropped out, sending me crashing to the floor below. Groaning, I turned onto my stomach, laying my head on my arms. My eyes slid closed again. This is too much work. All I wanted was to see Toto and sleep in his comfy bed. Nothing else appealed to me, especially not these battles. No one entertained me like my favorite opponent but Tamaki wouldn't pit us together ever again. We'd almost torn apart half the facility.

"Get up, you lazy bitch!" Raven yelled, stomping his foot down onto my back. The hot lights already had him sweating. It soaked through my top and rolled down the dip in my lower back. "I finally get to fight the second-best Deadman in this shithole and all I get is you?"

"it seems like Swan isn't into this fight, either. Raven could end this very quickly," the announcer laughed again.

Raven slid his hands under my armpits and lifted me up onto my feet. He grunted and let go. "Fight me, Swan!"

Another big yawn overtook me. "I don't want to. I'm _sooo_ tired." Rubbing my eyes, I sighed.

"What? I'm not worth your time since you're so strong? Is that it?" Raven shouted, cutting his palm on his sharp earring. His blood solidified into a whip. "Fuck you, you stuck up bitch!" He flicked the whip, striking my cheek.

"I never said any of that. All I want is a nap. You can have the cash points," I said, touching the bleeding slice on my cheek. It stung. He's wasting my blood. Toto isn't even here to taste it. I walked over to the wall and leaned my head against the cool glass. "This is all so tiresome."

"Fight me!" Raven shouted, striking his whip across my back, popping few of my stitches. He flicked it again, wrapping it around my neck. "Gotcha!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Will this be the first time that the Swan has been defeated? It seems she is refusing to fight back." The announcer said.

As he pulled me back towards him, my hands went straight to my neck. I couldn't breathe. Why is he trying so hard? Why drag this out? If I lose, I can take my nap quicker. That notion appealed to me. Hmm… I let go, allowing him to drag me closer. My head tilted back to look up. Wait…

Raven screamed, "I am not allowing you to opt out of this fight! Show me your powers! Fucking fight!"

Jerking forward, I hunched my body down and inward quickly. Every stitch on my back popped open, blood oozing from the two slits. From the wounds, my blood swirled and formed into my blood winds. The wingspan didn't need to above five feet to carry my 110-pound body up. The spider-web like wings flapped back, breaking Raven's whip in their recoil. Slowly, my bare feet left the ground, and I flew up to big bird speaker, settling on top. I used my wings as a blanket. "Just a small nap."

"Damn you, stupid bitch! Get the fuck down here!" Raven shouted. His yelling wasn't so bothersome up here and his whip length wasn't long enough to reach me. Even the announcers voice didn't bother me anymore. Finally, sleep! My eyes slid closed.

 _"Katsuko! Katsuko, come play with me!" The little boy's voice broke my concentration as I was drawing in my bedroom. His big blue eyes shimmered with the hope that I'd come play with him. Both knees were scrapped up from falling out of the tree this morning. But none of it stopped him from bothering me again._

 _"I'm drawing, Milo. Leave me alone." I stuck my tongue out him. He was six years old and already a little piece of shit whenever our parents weren't around. At 14, I didn't care to play with him anymore._

 _He furrowed his brows and threw the nearest object at me, which happened to be a jar of paint. It shattered on the floor, staining my carpet. Without any remorse, he shouted, "I hate you! You're such a… a… bitch! That's what dad calls you! I'll go play by myself!" He stormed out of my room._

That day, the incident occurred, killing our parents on their way home from work, leaving the two of us orphans. My brother and I were sent to live with our grandmother, who didn't care for either of us, but doted on Milo because he sucked up to her. And she hated me because I was "moody" and "troublesome". I hated her. I hated Milo.

Half-asleep, I felt a tug on my ankle. Frowning, already in a foul mood from my dream, I lifted my head to see what it was. Red. Is that Raven's branch of sin? Seems he's learned to draw out more of his blood. My winds had disappeared but left behind a bloody mess, all over my back and sides, dripping down the speaker and onto the floor far below. "Hey, let go of—" My whole body slid in the wet blood, right toward the edge.

"Get down here!" Raven shouted. The floor bore the marks of all his attempts to reach me before this successful one. With both hands on the whip, he jerked with all his might, sending me crashing to the floor. A loud crash rang out, and the floor cracked under my body. Raven didn't wait. He rushed me, kicking his boot into my side, cracking a rib. "Get up!"

" _Noooo_ , I don't want to," I whined, covering my head with my hands. I felt all achy from the fall. At least I'd gotten a little sleep. "I give up, you win." He had begun to irritate me, only a little. But not enough to fight him.

"No! You're gonna fight me," Raven shouted, bringing down his whip on my legs, over and over, ripping my sweatpants. "After I beat you, I'm going to fight Mockingbird again, and I'm going to kill him. Then, I'll rule this shit wonderland!"

My whole body went rigid. It took Raven off guard. "Finally! You're getting up," He said, sighing, as I pushed myself off the ground.

Every muscle in my body ached. I couldn't straighten up, and my head hung down. My eyes glued to the floor, his words went through my head again. "Kill Mockingbird? _**My**_ Mockingbird?" I muttered angrily to myself.

"Huh? Did you say something?" Raven asked.

As I lifted my head, meeting his gaze, Raven froze, fear filling his features. "What did you say?" I asked. My pale blue eyes stretched wide and I clenched my fists. 1. 2. 3. 4. I counted each step he took to get away from me. Not enough. He'd never be far enough away. Silver strands of my long hair fell over my face as I titled my head to the side. " _ **Did you just threaten MY Mockingbird?**_ "


	2. Chapter 2

**Viewer Discretion Advised: Graphic Violence**

Raven swallowed down his fear, nodding his head. "Yeah. Once you're down, Mockingbird is next. What, are you his little slut?" He made another whip, taunting me again. And again. "Fight me, Swan! Or are you too weak without him to protect you?"

The switch flipped.

Still hunched over, I growled. He wants to hurt my mockingbird. My Toto. The thoughts bubbled up inside me as I watched his every move. He couldn't decide whether to attack me or not. The whip dangled from his hand, slithering around the floor.

Eyes.

Ribs.

Throat.

Heart.

Expose. Destroy. A threat.

My blood boiled, pouring out of the slits in my back to make my full wings, which were nine feet in wingspan.

 _ **KILL HIM.**_

Raven had no time to counter my swift attacks. Using my razor-sharp wings, I sliced and battered him around. All the wounds were superficial. I want to savor his death. My next swipe at him knocking he head against the glass so hard that he fell, almost unconscious. His eyes almost rolled back into his head. "NO!" I screeched, dropping down to my knees, straddling his chest. "I want those." Two fingers on top and my thumb underneath, I plunged them into his eye sockets. As he screamed, my fingers slipped around the eyeball. Squishy. Bloody.

Yanking my arms back, both his eyes came out with a slurping sound. The sinews snapped, splashing blood onto my face. In the back of my mind, I thought that Toto might like to taste Raven's blood.

Raven smacked his hand across my face in an attempt to remove me from him. "You cunt! I'll fucking kill you!" Blood slid out of his empty sockets. He screamed out again as I sliced across his raised hand.

As he swung at me again, I rose up and out of the way. Twirling around, I dropped his eyes. "Didn't you want to fight me, Raven?" I asked.

He staggered to his feet, both hands stretched out in front of him. His lip quivered. "I… I give up. You win. Let me out of here."

Taking silent steps back, I watched him carefully. The announcer could be heard puking through the speaker system. Raven tapped his foot on the ground before taking each step. It took a few for him to reach his eyes on the floor. The first one squished under his boot. "You missed the other one. What a waste," I said.

Raven whirled around to face me. "Swan… I quit okay? I… I-I'll leave you alone. Never challenge you again."

Empty words.

I quietly strode up behind him with is other eyeball in my hand, swinging it around by the nerves. Standing up on my tiptoes, I leaned to whisper in his ear, "Criminals never change, Raven." My wings bent around him, shining the light. Perfectly lined up. Swiftly, the sharp ends plunged into the space between his ribs, curling the tips up under the bones.

Raven cried out again, "Help me! Stop this! Help me!"

"Shut up!" I growled, shoving the eyeball into his wide-open mouth. Putting both hands under his chin gave me the leverage to hold his head back so he couldn't spit it out. Raven gagged. "Eat it or choke."

"The winner is clearly Swan. By order of the boss, this fight is over," The announcer said.

"Hear that? Doesn't sound like they want me to kill you. Strange how they allowed you to do so. That's too bad though." My wings unfurled as fast as I could make them, ripping open his ribcage. The audience all let out disgusted noises. It drowned out the alarm that rang out.

Releasing Raven, he fell onto his back. The eyeball lodged in his throat, making him choke. Too bad we deadmen can't die that easily. The door opened and guards poured in, weapons aimed at me. I glanced back at them. Don't get in my way.

"Swan, stand down!" They shouted.

Whipping my wings back, I sent a gust of wind so strong they hit the glass wall with a bang. I heard them call in the undertakers. They won't make it in time to save him. I dropped to my knees beside him. "You worthless excuse for an opponent. You threatened my Mockingbird and think I'm going to let you live?" I stuck my hand up his chest, weaving through all the muscle and tendons, until it slipped up under his heart. Squeeze. Harder…

"That's enough, Katsu. Raven has gotten the message." His voice came from behind me. I love his voice.

My chest heaved with my heavy, ragged breaths as my body started to show signs of how much I'd worked it. "N-no! He threatened us… threatened you! I can't let him live." Tear out his heart and shove it down his throat.

Toto wrapped his arms loosely around my neck, leaning against me. "Look at me, Katsu," he said softly. When I did, his gold eyes met my pale blue ones. "Let him go."

"B-but…"

"I want you to. I want him to live," Toto said, giving me a smile. He kissed my head. "You've done enough for today."

The guards all had their weapons pointed at me again. Genkaku, one of the undertakers, stood next to Tamaki, who had a grin plastered on his stupid face. He enjoyed all this violence and chaos. My eyes flickered around to everyone, not focusing on anything. The panic set in, making my mouth dry. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. Are they going to shoot me? The bright lights burned my eyes. "I… I'm tired," I said, pulling my hand out of Raven's chest cavity. A nap sounds really good. A nap with Toto.

Toto laughed, making my heart beat faster. "Let's go back to my room."

My wings disappeared in my excitement. The room around me blurred. I must have used too much blood. "I want… that." My words slurred out of my mouth. The exhaustion spread through my whole body, weighing me down, and causing me to collapse.

"I'll meet you in the infirmary," Toto skipped off, waving a little.

Genkaku lifted me off the ground. "Disgusting creatures," he mumbled under his breath. My blood stained the sleeves of his shirt, and trailed on the ground as he carried me.

Tamaki spoke up next. "Simply entertaining. I think you deserve a good break, Swan. You almost broke Mockingbird's revenue. I made more money today than in the past month."

That's a lot of money. Toto always made the most money. The audience loved to watch Toto fight. He was really good at it, and his branch of sin made him the deadliest in Deadman Wonderland. All my mind thought about was him. He wants to see me again. That makes me happy. He makes me happy. That thought crossed my mind last, as unconscious fell over me.


End file.
